Let's talk about the boundaries, shall we?
"Setting boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.”
Friends, family, your partner.
When we care deeply about the people closest to us, we can find ourselves pulled into their troubles because all we want to do is help.
We don’t want to see them in pain, so we lend an ear. We try to give advice. We help where we can.
You love them... yet you know every time you interact with them, you start to feel your mood change. Your energy is drained. You don’t look forward to seeing them as much anymore.
And what used to be great catch ups suddenly turn to nothing but bad energy - bitching, complaining, backhanded comments.
So what to do?
It’s so much easier to just be that compassionate and sympathetic person that continues to be there for them. Yet, if weeks and months go by with no improvement, it'll definitely start to have an effect on your emotional and mental being. It'll start to breed resentment, anger and all-round bad emotions from within you.
I mean, yeeaaah… you could always push them aside and avoid them like the plague, but like any suppressed feeling, it’ll keep bubbling up until it just explodes - doom and gloom style (we hope never to get to this point cos it ain't pretty).
But there's another way.
It'll take an oomph of courage to bring up your boundaries. There's a chance it may not be received well. There might be disappointment. Tears. Nasty words. It may change your relationship forever.
However, one thing is for sure.
When you speak up about what works for you and what doesn’t…
It will empower you.
You would have honoured yourself, your truth and the love you have for that person in the mirror. Now that's worth it.
Sheryl Thai, CEO
League of Extraordinary Women