But I don't want to think big
Before starting my own businesses, I was working in the corporate world as an IT Consultant. I thought having a solid career that paid well and allowed me to travel would be my “dream job”. I hadn’t found my true passion yet.
Each morning, especially Mondays, I would wake up with that feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.
Hmm, what excuse can I come up with today so I can skip work? And after about 10 minutes of going through all the scenarios in my head, I’d eventually give up, pull myself out of bed and drag myself into work. Hating life. I realised I only lived for 2 days of the week.
I remember it started to become like Groundhog day. It didn’t matter what meeting I was in or if I was up for a promotion. It was against my whole entire being sitting in a stale room, allowing my soul to slowly die, doing whatever I could to stay awake. My eyes would be glazed over, sometimes I would have micro naps as I pressed my eyes closed. That was probably a great talent of mine, getting away with having micro naps in meetings.
Then one day I had a moment... I started to day dream at work.
I wonder, how would it feel like to live a life where I could create anything I wanted? And if my life were a movie, what role would I play in it?
From that day forward, I would roll into work each day with a coffee in hand and a renewed outlook in life. I started researching about others that had achieved their dream of opening up a boutique bakery. My obsession with cupcakes was now getting out of hand but it was the only thing that I would look forward to each day. It was the only thing that made me feel alive inside.
My discovery of this passion for baking cupcakes led me to experiencing something mind-blowing. Call it an epiphany. A magic moment. Or maybe a quarter life existential crisis.
For so long, I hadn’t let myself think big because I was afraid. I didn’t want to “think big” because it was scary. It was scary because I knew when I would start thinking those thoughts, I could never go back. That voice, would continue to haunt me. “Psst.. that thing you’ve always wanted to do, I think it’s time”.
That magic moment is when you realise that you create your own reality. You might even feel like the stars start to align and all these neat little coincidences and opportunities start popping up. You realise that you are the director of the movie you call life.
Let’s do a Marianne Williamson quote, shall we?
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
Now some of you may have already experienced those magic moments. Or maybe you're still on that journey and might be thinking… I want to experience those magic moments, “give it to me”.
These moments can come at any time, they cannot be forced. What I have found though is this:
Proximity is power
Surrounding myself with others that are constantly creating their own realities, it inspires me to think differently and want to think bigger.
Watch videos, read books, attend events. Meet those inspiring people, you'd be surprised how many people will say yes to a "coffee catch-up" if you're genuinely putting yourself out there with good vibes.
Sheryl Thai, CEO
League of Extraordinary Women